missed wednesday

here i am (it is school-break this time of year), feeling guilty of not having enough time to spend with my seven year old boy.. (when is enough is enough) i am so very occupied with my write up and readings. just finished marking mid-term exam papers, keyed in marks and sent it to my h.o.d for moderation (in case i was stingy & calculative).. yess, indeed i was.. hahaha.. and i shall be gone at 12 noon today from my office, just to keep my seven year old entertained.. and the other son who is two years? well, i guess he is much happier to be with his caretakers at the nursery on weekdays.. (terukkan mama ni)... hmmm.. it was not like those time, those were the days when i had 365x4 years of fullpaid leave to myself.. ample time to be with my tots at home... and now, i have to bare life just like any other people... squeeze time, chunks and bits, here and there.. i did not regret of things that i did and did not do. today is only thursday, and i am missing wednesday already. and i am welcoming friday. i am doing my best, one day at a time - this is enough.

inside and out

i'm bloating inside and out. 1)after struggling and burning my team's midnights' oil, finally we had our not-so-academic-paperwork submitted to my bro this afternoon, (referring to kaut-makan-tak-habis-and-exhaustive-project)... oh god, i so love this academic world, let me do my part.. stay close to me.. i'm praying hard for this.. 2)replaced h.o.d's 2 hrs lecture yesterday.. it's a course which requires you to put on your thinking cap, nobody ever did that ystrday,.. *sigh*.. thinking of it, i was 'them' 10 years back.. didnt put effort to think, let others think & decide for you.. and you are happy with the decision, no question asked.. hahaha.. so sad kan? when god grants you the capability, tapi tak guna. but true, some people are just so afraid to think let more to critisize. i believe when you are being critical, you are not insulting or condemning a situation/ people around you. you are just equally reasoning, giving yourself more options and opportunities in your life. am i right? having to accept other people's opinion gives you no freedom. after all, life is short. speak out loud, inside and out.

monday blues

so, today is monday. my last entry was on sunday. so, i supposed, my next entry will be on tuesday, which i precisely am clueless which tuesday that would be (ahakss), but i shall choose tuesday the next time around. ok, so, back to monday which i'm referring to the 23/6/08 monday. that particular afternoon, (which i had to wait the whole morning coz my KJ was away for a meeting) i'm back to the department for reporting duty, from the fac, i took lift & stairs up to the registra, back to my fac & finally up to registra again... after 4 years of study leave to do my Ph.D, i came in with my incomplete diss... hehehe.. as expected.. with my way of handling loads, i would prefer to wait for the last minute.. hahhaa.. and for some reason hosp putrajaya gave me mcs dated from 24/6/08-13/6/08.. (i went for my ERPOC and dont ask me what is ERPOC)... i'm finally back to my so called 'cosy box' today.. which we sarcastically called office setinggan among tutors & lecturers at this level 1, block b, coz it's too small to accomodate you with a complete set of pc from the jurassic park age (unless you have this dr thing in front of your name, they'll upgrade to a flat screen, but still have to wait for ages, and until then, you can finally afford to buy yourself a complete set, why wait for a subsidy.. nyeh3x), working table & wheeled office chair which is not so wheely after all (got stuck during your second roll), a giant bookshelf (still, not enough space to line books & files & students' assignments & marked exam papers.. etc, so, in need of another giant bookshelf).. and of course i got this two 2nd hand blue single sofa from my brother (got it but i paid for it).. and just imagine how i am cramping inside one small room from today onwards (until someone up there gives order to me to move to a descent room) with all these.. mmg sooo uncomfortable but bearable.. i'm the type person who doesnt complain much.. and the tak pe la type.. and i'm working hard today, after i e-punched myself to the system, try to fulfill my parents' wish, try to set good examples for my 3-not-so-little-anymore brothers and try to make ends meet for my family (sob..sob..sob..)... i now realize that it's 11am & i'm still into this entry!.. ok.. this is NOT good!
p/s: today is my abah's birthday. happy birthday! i pray him good health & wealth. and abah, if you know your daughter finally has a blog (i wish) dont look fwd to read my entries... hahhaha.. coz i am sure u will... from my deepest heart, i love u abah. u know i do.. (agak emo..).. hehhehe

easy sunday

huhuhu.. i accidently created an account for a blog? of my own? what i wanted to do today was to leave a comment at my beloved aunty's blog (which i was then directed to sign in because her blog doesnt accept any anonymous comments!).. phewww.. it took me a while to come here... ahakkss.. kind a funny experience, for a peron like me who works with a pc now & then.. hahhaa.. (dont get me go there)... well, anybody who is reading this, get to know her at beautiful-maria.blogspot... she's my nicest aunty.. hehehe.. mmmm... sooo, i guess, happy blogging to me too. might as well thrash something out here since this space is provided for me.. only me... but for today, i dont have enough words, (my son, dzahin is pulling my hair & shirt, throwing tantrum coz he wants me to accompany him for a swim, and i got carried away with this entry).. *sigh*.. but i shall come back in the next couple of days to leave a word or two! seize the day...