missed wednesday

here i am (it is school-break this time of year), feeling guilty of not having enough time to spend with my seven year old boy.. (when is enough is enough) i am so very occupied with my write up and readings. just finished marking mid-term exam papers, keyed in marks and sent it to my h.o.d for moderation (in case i was stingy & calculative).. yess, indeed i was.. hahaha.. and i shall be gone at 12 noon today from my office, just to keep my seven year old entertained.. and the other son who is two years? well, i guess he is much happier to be with his caretakers at the nursery on weekdays.. (terukkan mama ni)... hmmm.. it was not like those time, those were the days when i had 365x4 years of fullpaid leave to myself.. ample time to be with my tots at home... and now, i have to bare life just like any other people... squeeze time, chunks and bits, here and there.. i did not regret of things that i did and did not do. today is only thursday, and i am missing wednesday already. and i am welcoming friday. i am doing my best, one day at a time - this is enough.

inside and out

i'm bloating inside and out. 1)after struggling and burning my team's midnights' oil, finally we had our not-so-academic-paperwork submitted to my bro this afternoon, (referring to kaut-makan-tak-habis-and-exhaustive-project)... oh god, i so love this academic world, let me do my part.. stay close to me.. i'm praying hard for this.. 2)replaced h.o.d's 2 hrs lecture yesterday.. it's a course which requires you to put on your thinking cap, nobody ever did that ystrday,.. *sigh*.. thinking of it, i was 'them' 10 years back.. didnt put effort to think, let others think & decide for you.. and you are happy with the decision, no question asked.. hahaha.. so sad kan? when god grants you the capability, tapi tak guna. but true, some people are just so afraid to think let more to critisize. i believe when you are being critical, you are not insulting or condemning a situation/ people around you. you are just equally reasoning, giving yourself more options and opportunities in your life. am i right? having to accept other people's opinion gives you no freedom. after all, life is short. speak out loud, inside and out.